I love what I do. I love mindfulness and creativity and expanding the scope on how to help people.
What I struggle with is the constant pressure out there to perform in order to do so. (call it the promotion wheel or having to be salesperson)
Don’t get me wrong. I know the principles and how to apply them. What I don’t know at times is how to do that whole mix of researching, teaching, be a marketing and social media wiz… of and being a mum.
When did the world get so complex that we have to learn so many skills? My CV is extensive. It covers all sorts of areas and things I can do through choice and through circumstances. However, just because I know how, it doesn’t me I want to or can at this present moment. Because unless I do it well, I am struggling to see if it is worth doing at all. This is the reality of many start-ups, many entrepreneurs out there, bombarded everyday with “how to”, “secrete tips and recipes” and the many well intentioned extremely young people posing in front of a beach, always in the sunshine and making passive income. Yep, this is becoming the new norm. We have moved from multi-tasking to multi-braining and skilling. No wonder we feel exhausted and overworked.
Two days ago I went to a talk on self-worth by Steve Neale. A truly inspiring talk that reminded me a key message, be true to yourself and do not try to be a pale copy of anyone else. We forget sometimes how to self-care. We forget that we can’t and should not do it all because unless this is a true reflection about who we are and what we believe it, we are only doing by numbers and following formulas.
You will know from reading this blog that I don’t write often despite really enjoying it, I rarely find the time. However it is therapeutic and is helping in defining the important from the rest. I need to do things for me and reflect what I want.
So how do you plan for something you need but don’t have time for and when your brain is fizzy from too much action?
These are my steps, a healthy mix of old, borrowed and new. Bear with me and don’t judge this list until you get to the ned (or don’t judge at all)
Write my values and communicate about them
Write a list of what I would do if I had 3 months of free time and no restrictions (list A)
Spend time with like minded people and be me
Write a list of what I need to do in my work (list B)
Print extra copy of the following. Put lists A and B side by side and create either a mind map or list with the following sections professional, personal and social. Look at the lists and pick elements that you need the most, the urgent and essential. Don’t worry if you don’t know how or if you are going to ask for help. Then write the ones of “nice to have” but realistically taking too much headspace and diverting your energy. Finally put the other stuff in the middle as “stuff”. Feel free to cross items as they become no longer relevant without judging. Be kind to yourself as you do this. This is as much coming with a plan as it is a survival self-care intervention.
Pic a small amount of items to put out there on your daily map. Break them down in micro-actions (and set up some on the YOU app if you need help and are happy to share).
And as Nike says, “just do it!”. (don’t let your auto-pilot sabotage this. It is too important and it hates change).
When we get busy, we come last. Items that nourish our body, soul and dreams take the back seat and we end up scarifying what we NEED and do what we feel we HAVE to. Where is the choice? Well, the choice is now.
Happiness radiates energy and energy comes from finding what we love, anything. Beyond the pressure, say “I CHOOSE to”. There, just there in these 3 words there is sanity and wisdom. These words come from a Non-Violent Communication workshop I attended almost 12 months ago. I have picked elements on Ikigai, Wabi-sabi and Lagom not to forget Hygge. I have read many books, blogs and articles that are wonderful in how they can help people. Now is the time to digest it all and choose which part of this goodness and “need” and “choose” to apply to myself.
Accepting our vulnerabilities and saying I need help is not weak. It is the beginning of strength.
I am excited!
Thank you for reading.